 
Sexy Soccer
By: Ryko Distribution Average Rating: 2.0 Total Reviews: 6
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 On: 2007-09-26
Okay, okay, I bought this DVD as kind of a joke for/on my soccer loving friends. This movie is soft core porn with the worst sex scenes I have ever seen in my life. It makes you wonder how there could be 1.3B Chinese in the world. While the star/hero/coach is a bad lay, he has some comedic talent, judging by his expressions (I have to read the sub-titles, so cant attest to his diction).
The soccer is really terrible, which is the whole point of the movie--how girls can beat guys at soccer by displaying their wares.
You know what? Dont even rent this movie.
On: 2007-09-24
Thats the best thing youll be able to do with this movie, if you can call it that. Although the plot is credible--at least for a category III movie--the execution is limp, thanks to awful acting, extremely corny action, and extremely inane dialogue. No praise for the nudity either. The glaring problem the director had was finding females who could act and who were also willing to appear naked; apparently he didnt score too well. Of all the girls on the soccer team, only one appears unclothed and another appears topless. The rest of the girls on the team, including the well-endowed cuties on the cover art, show no skin at all.
Two additional females appear without clothes in this movie--nameless, nonacting fill-ins whose sole task is to do the obligatory cat III faked-sex scenes. In fact, the only nudity to be seen in the movie takes place during these "sex" scenes--the lamest, most unerotic simulated sex Ive ever seen in a cat III movie. These long, dull sequences, redolent of cheap porn but without the explicitness, will quickly make you hit the fast-forward button and skip through the heavy-handed movements, poor camera angles, and tame side-view nudity.
Several scenes take place in a locker room, but not surprisingly the girls are either fully clothed or wrapped in large towels entirely covering their bodies. Talk about missed opportunities!
This was shot on video and is presented in full frame. Colors are pale and washed-out.
Bottom line: Look elsewhere, for this one neither entertains nor titillates. A complete waste. For engaging, romping fun in this genre, check out the far superior Girls Unbutton.
On: 2007-03-17
This is probably one of the worst movies i have ever seen. I was expecting it to be bad, but this movie just went beyond that!
On: 2007-01-13
This movie is trash. Its a sorry excuse for a home video soft porn flick, and a bad one at that. Save your money, dont bother.
 On: 2006-08-20
The dialog in this movie is hilarious. The whole thing is funny, but its a little over the top with all the fake sex.
Would make a great drinking movie with the right crowd, but there will be a lot of fast forwarding (Even the girl looks bored after 5 minutes of bouncing).
On: 2006-04-22
Ill admit, I had low expectations for this movie when I saw it. I misread the DVD cover and assumed that this would be a regular loser turns winner film, but it was so much more. Rolando is a mid-thirties Cantonese man down on his luck. While watching some people playing soccer he notices that he is distracted by a beautiful female running and has an epiphany--start a female soccer team. Roland, desperate to get the respect he feels that he deserves, sets out to recruit females for his team. Like most losers to winners film, he finds girls who are also down on their luck, whether they are auto mechanics, unemployed, prostitutes, amateur bowlers, etc. As the team evolves and begins the training process, Rolando has a series of sexual affairs with the various team members, which the girls instigate. As they work their way through the amateur league and win game after game, they find themselves facing their biggest fear. Failure. To avoid a spoiler, Ill let you see it and find out what happens... but Ill say that it was classic and resembles the outcomes of movies such as Little Giants and The Sandlot.
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