 
Mean Machine
By: Team Marketing Average Rating: 4.0 Total Reviews: 25
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by: andynjen On: 2007-10-04
I turned Adam Sandlers remake of "The Longest Yard" off after twenty minutes, vowing only to watch it again when the worlds collided. I have never seen Burt Reynolds original "Longest Yard", though I have just added it to the films that I am eagerly awaiting to see - so with that said, I went way beyond my typical style of cinema viewing and chose to watch "Mean Machine" first and foremost. Obviously I didnt read the reviews close enough to know that it is simply a remake of Reynolds work, so I went in blindly ... very blindly. This is probably one of the only times that I will watch a film out of sequential order (i.e. what was meant to be released first and second), but I am extremely happy with my decision. "Mean Machine" was a crisp, "thud"-packed film that didnt fight with clichés, but instead gave us an action-comedy that only the British can conquer. While most will complain that this film doesnt do justice to the original, I must ask if Sandlers did either? "The Longest Yard" wasnt a groundbreaking piece of cinema, and to see a British team remake the film, it is almost like a smile on our American faces. How often does that happen? So, without seeing much of the other two films, I went into "Mean Machine" with a clean slate, and enjoyed every moment of it. This was a fresh film, commercial in every since of the word, but fresh for what we decided to remake and slaughter.
I hate sports films. With this film I thought I would watch and return, without giving it a second thought. I thought it would be another cliché moment of the underdogs beating out at the last moment without anyone skipping a beat and winning the female lead at the end. We have all seen these before, and it is the cliché ride that most sports films seem to fall. While "Mean Machine" was similar in nature, what lead to those final moments was really what transformed this film to above average. Vinnie Jones is tolerable. Actually, he is better in this film and shows more range with "Mean Machine" than I have seen him grapple in years. Sure, he was fun in the Guy Ritchie films, but it was fun to see him play the lead this time, while Jason Statham played the muscle. I loved, and in fact love his body of work, David Kelly. He was phenomenal as the older mentor in this film. What made "Mean Machine" stand out was the cast, the trouble I had with Sandlers film was that everyone was fighting to get the best joke in, everyone wanted to be in a scene with Sandler or Rock, but in this one, everyone had their own voice and logic. There were actual characters in this film, ones that stood beyond themselves and created the world we were viewing. With any sports film, there is that inconsistency that could transform the film into a very flat picture. That was never the case here. Jones and his crew gave us direction from point A to point B without missing a beat. Doc, Burton, Massive, Monk, Ratchett, and Sykes brought the prison alive and made us root for a game we have nearly disregarded in America.
The weakest part of this film had to be the story. While the characters gave the story a voice as well as characters to root for, there was just something lacking with the story. It was strong, much stronger than most sports films of the same nature, but there was just that level of punch missing that you would expect from any typical British film. The direction may have had something to do with it, but not completely. I cant put my finger on the issue, and I think it has to do with the ability to recycle films - there is always something missing from each carbon copy. I need to see the original, but alone, "Mean Machine" was directed eagerly, but lacked the depth in the story. I wanted to see Dannys downfall in the beginning, I wanted to know more about him prior to his jail time, the idea of him fixing games seemed minimal in the overall scope of what Danny had to do with playing the guards. I needed that knowledge of whom he was and the struggles that he was facing. Sure, it wasnt meant to be this grand bio-pic, but something (as short as it was needed) had to be there. Maybe I am pulling at straws, but as I look at this picture as a whole, it was a stand-alone film that prided laughs (intelligent ones) as well as hard hitting action, but it needed something more. I could watch this film again, and I would go through the motions, but something was missing. It was like having the best piece of pie in the county, but realizing later that a scoop of ice cream would have been nice as a side. Unknown director Barry Skolnick places this film together well, but I feel as if he could have done more. I didnt need another "Lock, Stock", but I needed something that grabbed me further into.
Will I buy this film? Yep, I think I will just because I loathe the 20-minutes of the Sandler version and prefer to give others a taste of what decent remakes are like, but I cannot say that it is the best film watched. My review seems scattered at best, and as I read through it again, I dont think I have quite the grasp on this film as I hoped. I liked it, not loved it, and I could watch it again, but not too often. Bubbles have more consistency than I do with "Mean Machine". Maybe it was Charlie Fletchers screenplay, but honestly I think I am just grabbing at air. I think what could have toppled me with this film would have been some special features. Something to show me how it was made, an audio commentary to give me a voice for the director, something that would have made me look deeper into this film. "Mean Machine" isnt bland, but I needed a better flavor.
Overall, I liked it. I am growing tired of this review and think it will throw others off the trail of this invitingly fresh film, so I am going to stop. I think everyone should watch this. Sure, it doesnt have the bathroom humor of Sandlers version, but it does provide the Brits an opportunity to demonstrate that their "football" is just as exciting as ours.
Grade: *** out of *****
 On: 2007-01-05
A British translation of "The Longest Yard," using Soccer instead of american football. It is a fun little movie, with typical Brit humor.
On: 2006-08-04
If youre a Guy Ritchie fan, or at least think you are, the nthis movie is for you!
 On: 2006-07-20
My son, being a hugh soccer fan liked it a lot. I liked the "longest yard" story line.
On: 2006-07-19
My son, being a hugh soccer fan liked it a lot. I liked the "longest yard" story line.
On: 2006-06-22
Excellent combination of comedy and action. Very interesting to have a British version also. Vinnie Jones and Jason Statham both are wonderful actors in this film. Ive watched it many times and will watch it many times more!
On: 2006-05-31
I bought this movie in my junior year of University studying Finance when all the pressure was on to get the marks and the work load was piling up. This movie was a saving grace I felt a bit like I was in prison having to study 24/7 and this movie was a riot.
SKA Films are great: Lock, stock and two smoking barrells and Snatch were hilarious films that I recited with my friends over and over. These three films had interesting plots that dipped and dived leaving people biting their finger tips clean off. The actors are brilliant, they are witty and believably geniune establishing a uproarious rapport. Stars to whatch for are
Jason Fleming: (Doctor Jeckyl in the League of Extraodinary Gentlemen, Bob likely aka the commentator "do him!" & "lost the !@#!@%$# plot!" in Mean machine Machine, Darren in Snatch.
Vinnie Jones: (es a sweeper n this one and the lead man, formerly the hitman in Lock Stock, brings the hutspah)
Jason Stratham: (now famous from the Transporter one and two, in this es a raving lunatic called only monk, not to be confused with Tony Shaloob?! what better choice for a last line of defense)
Vas Blackwood (aka who?, es the cheeky gov from Lock, Stock who blew a load of the tidily on the guy ou wanted the footy turned down, in this one es the manager Massive)
So for those who havent seen the original longest yard with Burt"the mustache" Renolds the plot is about a a famous football star who fallen from grace finds his way into incarceration. Upon doing so the warden(aka wanker), makes it clear that he will coach the guards who have an after work football team. The star Mean Machine Mehann agrees on the condition that he orchistrate a pre-season "friendly" between the guards and the cons, the latter will be picked and coached by Vinnie Jones.
Pick this up it never received the marketing that would usually accompany a film this good but that why theres me. Its witty,the plot is good and the charecters are properly developed. Ive watched it uh....about a hundred times! Im sure that Ill watch it a hundred times more!
On: 2006-02-01
The formula is familiar but enjoyable. A group of British tough guys are assembled for an enterprise that combines violence with humor, while cherishing their peculiar personalities and even finding goodness where none should grow. Weve had prisoners winning a gardening competition, pot dealers helping little old ladies, and crooks leaving crime for life as real estate agents. Now here is "Mean Machine," about a corrupt British soccer champion, jailed for rigging an important match, and ordered by the prison governor to coach the inmates team. The big match will be against the guards team.
If this premise rings a faint, far-off bell, you may be remembering Robert Aldrichs "The Longest Yard" (1974), with one of Burt Reynolds best performances, that told the same story, more or less, in terms of American football. Barry Skolnicks "Mean Machine" is more than inspired by "The Longest Yard;" its based on the same Tracy Keenan Wynn screenplay, and indeed "Mean Machine" was even the original title of "The Longest Yard." The movie stars Vinnie Jones, a real-life footballer so tough he didnt even play for England, he played for Wales. He was known for dirty football, just like Danny Meehan, his character in the film. You may recognize Jones Fearless Fosdick features from "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels," directed by Guy Ritchie, who produced this film. And he has appeared as a fearsome background presence in "Snatch," "Gone in 60 Seconds" and "Swordfish." In his first lead role, he handles the dialogue like meat and potatoes, one line at a time, chewed carefully.
The deal: The prison governor (David Hemmings) has a gambling problem, and is crazy about football. He orders his new celebrity prisoner to coach the team. This does not sit well with the head guard, who coaches the guards team, but what can he say? Danny doesnt much want to enter the coaching profession, but the governor makes him a threat he cant ignore.
The most enjoyable passages are some of the most predictable, recycled out of countless other movies where a leader has to pick his men. Danny finds himself with the prison contraband retailer, Massive (Vas Blackwood), as his right-hand man, and a violent, feared con named Monk (Jason Statham) as his star player. He gets a lot of valuable prison lore and advice from the ancient convict Doc (David Kelly, who you will remember from his naked scooter ride in "Waking Ned Devine"). Kelly has had a whole late flowering while playing twinkly geezers, clouded only by the distressing tendency of his characters to end up in sentimental death scenes.
All leads up to the big match, which of course involves hard play and dirty tricks, and dovetails neatly with the governors gambling problem. "Mean Machine" lacks the social satire of "The Longest Yard," which was a true early 1970s film and therefore anti-establishment. "Mean Machine" is only interested in the characters and the game. Guy Ritchie, who started out as such an innovator in "Lock, Stock, etc.," seems to have headed directly for reliable generic conventions as a producer. But they are reliable, and have become conventions for a reason: They work. "Mean Machine" is what it is, and very nicely, too.
On: 2006-01-31
The formula is familiar but enjoyable. A group of British tough guys are assembled for an enterprise that combines violence with humor, while cherishing their peculiar personalities and even finding goodness where none should grow. Weve had prisoners winning a gardening competition, pot dealers helping little old ladies, and crooks leaving crime for life as real estate agents. Now here is "Mean Machine," about a corrupt British soccer champion, jailed for rigging an important match, and ordered by the prison governor to coach the inmates team. The big match will be against the guards team.
If this premise rings a faint, far-off bell, you may be remembering Robert Aldrichs "The Longest Yard" (1974), with one of Burt Reynolds best performances, that told the same story, more or less, in terms of American football. Barry Skolnicks "Mean Machine" is more than inspired by "The Longest Yard;" its based on the same Tracy Keenan Wynn screenplay, and indeed "Mean Machine" was even the original title of "The Longest Yard." The movie stars Vinnie Jones, a real-life footballer so tough he didnt even play for England, he played for Wales. He was known for dirty football, just like Danny Meehan, his character in the film. You may recognize Jones Fearless Fosdick features from "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels," directed by Guy Ritchie, who produced this film. And he has appeared as a fearsome background presence in "Snatch," "Gone in 60 Seconds" and "Swordfish." In his first lead role, he handles the dialogue like meat and potatoes, one line at a time, chewed carefully.
The deal: The prison governor (David Hemmings) has a gambling problem, and is crazy about football. He orders his new celebrity prisoner to coach the team. This does not sit well with the head guard, who coaches the guards team, but what can he say? Danny doesnt much want to enter the coaching profession, but the governor makes him a threat he cant ignore.
The most enjoyable passages are some of the most predictable, recycled out of countless other movies where a leader has to pick his men. Danny finds himself with the prison contraband retailer, Massive (Vas Blackwood), as his right-hand man, and a violent, feared con named Monk (Jason Statham) as his star player. He gets a lot of valuable prison lore and advice from the ancient convict Doc (David Kelly, who you will remember from his naked scooter ride in "Waking Ned Devine"). Kelly has had a whole late flowering while playing twinkly geezers, clouded only by the distressing tendency of his characters to end up in sentimental death scenes.
All leads up to the big match, which of course involves hard play and dirty tricks, and dovetails neatly with the governors gambling problem. "Mean Machine" lacks the social satire of "The Longest Yard," which was a true early 1970s film and therefore anti-establishment. "Mean Machine" is only interested in the characters and the game. Guy Ritchie, who started out as such an innovator in "Lock, Stock, etc.," seems to have headed directly for reliable generic conventions as a producer. But they are reliable, and have become conventions for a reason: They work. "Mean Machine" is what it is, and very nicely, too.
by: higopa On: 2005-07-25
This is one of the two remakes of The Longest Yard, since the last one (2005) the starring is Adam Sandler.
In this particular version we have the british humor all along the film with its typical cynicism and enjoyable references to known celebrities.
Good entertainment!
On: 2005-07-10
I first saw this movie with some of my guy friends from school and I just loved it. Its witty, fun, and it has soccer-thats all you really need for a great film. The music is great too (I own the soundtrack). It really helps move along the film.
On: 2004-08-23
This movie/film was unexpectedly brilliant. I was compelled to say Vinnie Jones an actual British Soccer Player an actor. He showed off his diversity being able to perform with directorial execution. The cast was genuinely placed. The scenery was inviting considering prison foregrounds and backgrounds. Having a soccer star mess up and go through depression by landing himself in prison which has a redemptive affect on him to realize if he had just did this while on the "outside" he would have got the same results. You do not have to compromise your integrity at the hand of world-volumed pressure and at the cost of well established peace of mind. The comical context was great preparation for a price paid - a death. It had all the hollywood understanding of life in prison and all the reality of celebrity self-induced trial and error. I cannot finish this without giving credit to LimpBilly and the prison commentators Bob and Bob; they keep your interest and the musical score was quite proper! Again, I was not expecting this to be that good. Well done and well worth it time and time again.
On: 2004-08-22
This movie/film was unexpectedly brilliant. I was compelled to say Vinnie Jones an actual British Soccer Player an actor. He showed off his diversity being able to perform with directorial execution. The cast was genuinely placed. The scenery was inviting considering prison foregrounds and backgrounds. Having a soccer star mess up and go through depression by landing himself in prison which has a redemptive affect on him to realize if he had just did this while on the "outside" he would have got the same results. You do not have to compromise your integrity at the hand of world-volumed pressure and at the cost of well established peace of mind. The comical context was great preparation for a price paid - a death. It had all the hollywood understanding of life in prison and all the reality of celebrity self-induced trial and error. I cannot finish this without giving credit to LimpBilly and the prison commentators Bob and Bob; they keep your interest and the musical score was quite proper! Again, I was not expecting this to be that good. Well done and well worth it time and time again.
On: 2004-04-13
The play-by-play calls and the inside views from Monks head make this movie worth while. People that cry about it being a remake of "The Longest Yard" apparently do not watch many movies as every other movie out is a remake or carbon of something. Pay attention to the play-by-play and you will definately laugh.
On: 2004-04-12
The play-by-play calls and the inside views from Monks head make this movie worth while. People that cry about it being a remake of "The Longest Yard" apparently do not watch many movies as every other movie out is a remake or carbon of something. Pay attention to the play-by-play and you will definately laugh.
On: 2003-07-03
Mean Machine, the 2001 remake of The Longest Yard, is a rough-and-tumble story about a prisons struggles on the soccer field.
When disgraced England captain Danny Meehan (ex-soccer star Vinnie Jones) is sent to prison for assault cops while drunk, he becomes the target of everyone inside. Luckily, he cuts a deal with the warden and begins coaching a flashy and undisciplined group of cons for a game against the prison guards. The game is riddled with under-the-table bets and blackmailing, and has an interesting lead-up.
There is much heated violence in this film, but nothing too graphic. In fact, when Danny has the prisons resident pyscho show the boys how to play dirty on the pitch you will be laughing uncontrollably.
The finale is the big game makes for a gripping piece of viewing. Add to this, the flashy moves, brilliant camera angles, the hilarous play-by-play commentary of two cons each named Bob, and cheap tactics employed, and you have a very good ending to a very good film.
Mean Machine is a highly entertaining British film, and is certainly worth a look if you enjoy soccer or good action and jokes.
In the words of Danny Meehan, "Stick this one in your trophy cabinet".
by: vidiot_y2k On: 2003-05-12
MEAN MACHINE is a remake of the Burt Reynolds movie THE LONGEST YARD, using the movies UK release title. I havent seen the original but this wasnt bad.
In a brilliant piece of casting ex-pro footballer turned tough guy actor Vinnie Jones plays Danny "Mean Machine" Meehan, an ex pro-footballer who is jailed for three years on assault charges. But the prison warden (David Hemmings) happens to be a soccer nut, so he offers Meehan the opportunity to assemble a team of inmates and train them for a soccer game against the prison officers.
Executive produced by Guy Ritchie, MEAN MACHINE is a formulaic but entertaining movie. The meshing of the sports/prison movie genres may make you see these guys as being right ard geezers or limp-wristed nancy boys, depending on your opinion of soccer. Well, theres a Robbie Williams song near the end of the movie so Ill leave that open to viewers to make their own judgments. MEAN MACHINEs still a good movie. If youre a soccer fan its probably a five star movie. Im keeping my fingers crossed for a sequel of sorts to be green-lighted featuring lesbian mud wrestling instead of soccer.
On: 2003-01-20
Well, the time just flew by when I saw this film! Excellent film, some of it had me in stitches! I had seen the original, but I did prefer this version, Vinnie Jones was very good I thought and it is a film that I could definitely watch again. Worth seeing, whether you have viewed the original or not.
On: 2003-01-19
Well, the time just flew by when I saw this film! Excellent film, some of it had me in stitches! I had seen the original, but I did prefer this version, Vinnie Jones was very good I thought and it is a film that I could definitely watch again. Worth seeing, whether you have viewed the original or not.
On: 2002-12-25
I love the Longest Yard, and the Mean Machine is a cute remake. The final game is well shot with great music. Very predictable, but exactly what you want in a film-Lots fun. The prison game announcers are a riot.I liked the nice touch with the winning goal.
On: 2002-12-24
I love the Longest Yard, and the Mean Machine is a cute remake. The final game is well shot with great music. Very predictable, but exactly what you want in a film-Lots fun. The prison game announcers are a riot.I liked the nice touch with the winning goal.
On: 2002-11-21
This movie had me on the edge of my seat the whole time. I watched it probably 10 times when i rented it and fell in love. I highly recommend this movie to anyone who liked Snatch and Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.
by: hidden-dragon On: 2002-10-19
Vinnie Jones is Danny "Mean Machine" Meehan, former star soccer player, who was once hired to promote the sports goods of first-rate company Umbro. But now drunk and disgraced, he is in jail, doing his time of three-year sentence. But the governor there, himself deep in debt, wants him to go back to the game (between wards and prisoners), AND lose it on purpose, just like Danny did in the international match between England and Germany.Sounds familiar? Sure, the films opening credits show that "Mean Machine" is actually based on Burt Reynoldss film "The Longest Yard." You may say, or groan, "Not again!," but be assured, this new one is surprisingly good, considering that Vinnie Joness career as actor has just got started. And his fans, be proud; though he may not be nominated for BAFTA awards, his turn as the first-time lead is really good, and convincing. The virtue of "Mean Machine" is that the film looks very authentic. Thats no surprise, you say, because Vinnie Jones was a professional soccer player, but keep in mind that he had to shape up his body again to fit in the role as it has been pretty long since he had retired. As Im a huge soccer fan, and watch Euporean games live on cable TV in Japan, I can tell you this, but the players of "Mean Machine" team are good at playing soccer, and the most remarkable thing is that they play so well that their movements in the game is authentic (except for the goal keeper, who likes keep the ball too much), and look very real, if not as good as those you see in English Premier games. On top of that, most scenes are shot in real prison, The Oxford Prison, now disused for years. But the greatest find is Vinnie Jones, who is natural and sometimes even humorous. He is much better than ill-used role in "Swordfish," and the director knows how to use his tough-guy persona on the screen. The film keeps a good speed, and the supports are also effective, such as veteran actor David Kelly ("Greenfingers," another prison drama, and "Waking Ned Divine"). And for the soccer fans (and players), Vinnies lecture on "How to Commit Foul Plays" is very funny, alarmingly. Overall the film is a drama, and some of the scenes are very serious, but the film doenst stop there too long. Predictable you may call it, but I still find it fun to watch. You may too, especially when you like soccer like me.
 On: 2002-10-01
"Mean Machine" was a predictable and less than appealing movie. The movie had bursts of humor here and there (e.g. commentators Bob and Bob during the final game, Jason Statham as "The Monk"), and the soundtrack, probably its only saving grace, was quite good...The DVD is NOT worth the price tag because of the lack of special features. Granted, the British slangs were a bit confusing and the alternate "U.S. Release" featured on the DVD was helpful. But, one could easily turn on the captions while watching the "Theatrical Release" and not miss a word. Rent the move if you want to watch it and save your money for the soundtrack.
On: 2002-09-30
"Mean Machine" was a predictable and less than appealing movie. The movie had bursts of humor here and there (e.g. commentators Bob and Bob during the final game, Jason Statham as "The Monk"), and the soundtrack, probably its only saving grace, was quite good...The DVD is NOT worth the price tag because of the lack of special features. Granted, the British slangs were a bit confusing and the alternate "U.S. Release" featured on the DVD was helpful. But, one could easily turn on the captions while watching the "Theatrical Release" and not miss a word. Rent the move if you want to watch it and save your money for the soundtrack.
by: ivory88 On: 2002-09-19
This entire movie, including the title, were "borrowed" from an earlier piece, as were dialogue, settings and plot. If you have seen or see now, "The Longest Yard" starring Burt Reynolds, you will see for yourself how much of TLY was scavenged to produce this flagrant rip-off. Tracy Keenan Wynn conceived and wrote the original, TLY, and should have had screen credit for this, except for the fact that it pales in comparison, and as such, is probably better left attributed to the "borrowers." No honor among thieves, even in Hollywood, or should I say, ESPECIALLY in Hollywood. See "The Longest Yard" instead, a much better film, and ORIGINAL.
On: 2002-09-08
Matthew Vaughn and Guy Ritchie team up again to produce another story from the underside of British culture, with Barry Skolnick as director. This time they take various members of the casts of previous movies Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, and Snatch into the British prison system of screws (guards) and cons (prisoners). Jason Statham plays the insane "Monk" with a nice set of abs, Vas Blackwood (LS2SBs malicious Rory Breaker) gives us a softer side of himself as "Massive."Vinny Jones, himself the bad boy of British soccer, plays Danny Meehan, ex-England soccer captain who is imprisoned for drunken assault. Once inside, Danny comes face to face with disappointed fans and a crooked prison warden who puts the pressure on to make Danny coach the prison football team. Upon the advice of his fellow convict, "its ironic" Massive, Meehan suggests a match between the guards and the convicts as a way to keep everyone off his back. The recruiting and training of his team take Danny Meehan, the Mean Machine, through some rough spots, but eventually he regains his respect for both the game and himself during the climactic match. Unlike LS2SB and Snatch, this movie doesnt come with a second DVD full of the interesting "other stuff" that consumers are starting to take for granted. I admit I was disappointed too. Instead, Mean Machine comes in two versions: the original UK version, for which you will need to know the lingo of "birds" and "nippers" and "taking a pony;" or the "domestic" US version, in which some of the more elusive British slang is dubbed, kung-fu b-movie style, with more easily understood words. Take your pick. Remakes are rarely as magnificent as the originals and I dont understand why film creators with proven talent and creativity decided to do this story as a British version of 1974s The Longest Mile. It could have stood on its own two feet on the soccer pitch without being based on something else. Instead of comparing it to another movie about a different country and different sport, take Mean Machine for what it is - a rough and tough British comedy that will give you an excellent evenings worth of entertainment.
On: 2002-09-07
Matthew Vaughn and Guy Ritchie team up again to produce another story from the underside of British culture, with Barry Skolnick as director. This time they take various members of the casts of previous movies Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, and Snatch into the British prison system of screws (guards) and cons (prisoners). Jason Statham plays the insane "Monk" with a nice set of abs, Vas Blackwood (LS2SBs malicious Rory Breaker) gives us a softer side of himself as "Massive."Vinny Jones, himself the bad boy of British soccer, plays Danny Meehan, ex-England soccer captain who is imprisoned for drunken assault. Once inside, Danny comes face to face with disappointed fans and a crooked prison warden who puts the pressure on to make Danny coach the prison football team. Upon the advice of his fellow convict, "its ironic" Massive, Meehan suggests a match between the guards and the convicts as a way to keep everyone off his back. The recruiting and training of his team take Danny Meehan, the Mean Machine, through some rough spots, but eventually he regains his respect for both the game and himself during the climactic match. Unlike LS2SB and Snatch, this movie doesnt come with a second DVD full of the interesting "other stuff" that consumers are starting to take for granted. I admit I was disappointed too. Instead, Mean Machine comes in two versions: the original UK version, for which you will need to know the lingo of "birds" and "nippers" and "taking a pony;" or the "domestic" US version, in which some of the more elusive British slang is dubbed, kung-fu b-movie style, with more easily understood words. Take your pick. Remakes are rarely as magnificent as the originals and I dont understand why film creators with proven talent and creativity decided to do this story as a British version of 1974s The Longest Mile. It could have stood on its own two feet on the soccer pitch without being based on something else. Instead of comparing it to another movie about a different country and different sport, take Mean Machine for what it is - a rough and tough British comedy that will give you an excellent evenings worth of entertainment.
 On: 2002-08-06
Mean Machine is an absolutely awesome movie. Its funny and entertaining in its own right, but for a soccer fan its got so much added value, with both realistic and out-of-whack soccer moves galore.
So why do I give this DVD 1 star? It should be obvious: On the back cover: "Special features: English Dolby 5.1 Digital Sourround Audio, English Subtitles" SPECIAL FEATURES??? Who the (..) do they take us for?? Not even a trailer. And there could have been so many cool things, like out-takes and the actors practicing their soccer moves...
And how much do they want for this absolutely bare DVD?(....)! At a time when the feature-packed Terminator 2 Ultimate Edition DVD is available for a lower price, thats a bit much.
In short, this is an awesome movie, but dont encourage this kind of exploitation by buying it.
by: Anonymous On: 2002-07-19
I kinda held off on this after I rented and then decided to watch it just before it was due back at the video store. Now, I wish I had watched it sooner because I would have watched it again. Vinnie Jones has turned out to be an amazing actor and the rest of the cast on this movie did an excellent excellent job. Its funny, its somewhat sad in a part or two, its exciting and its inspirational. I would recommend this movie to anyone...Im waiting for a copy of it to come in so I can buy it.
On: 2002-06-28
NOTHING. However this film survives on those two elements alone. My friends and I saw the film in Brazil with a theater full of brazilians who love soccer and cant speak english. While they didnt laugh NEARLY as much as my friends and I, they still enjoyed it.
A basic storyline is: After a great life in international soccer, a man is arrested and sent to prison. The warden of the prison is a huge football fan and thus the delima begins for the inmate. Freedom or Soccer?
If you dont enjoy soccer, pass this film up. If you like soccer and your friends dont...watch it alone. But finally a film for us soccer fans.
On: 2002-05-14
Vinnie Jones plays hard on his luck Danny "Mean Machine" Meehan. Meehan was a champion football (soccer) player until he sold his team out. After a drunken misdeamoner Meehan is sentenced with 3 years in jail where he is offered the job of coaching the prison football team. To even out a few odds he proposes a match: "cons" vs. the "screws (guards)". Meehans team is composed of the good, the bad, the ugly and the mentally insane "Monk", as the goalie played by Jason Statham. Meehan and the cons play to earn some shred of dignity. Two inmate buddies keep commentary providing hearty laughs (provided by Jason Flemying and friend). A great flick! Vinnie Jones is superb and is supported by a great cast of wonderful characters. The soccer plays and tensions among cons and screws keeps you on your toes and will have you roaring on your feet at every turn!
On: 2002-03-16
Ive seen this film, it was so excellent & exicitng, it was great to see Vinnie Jones hit his latest film about being away in a jail & he was so cool, daft & his football skills are superb! I believe its the best prison film ever, the best!
On: 2002-03-15
Ive seen this film, it was so excellent & exicitng, it was great to see Vinnie Jones hit his latest film about being away in a jail & he was so cool, daft & his football skills are superb! I believe its the best prison film ever, the best!
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